An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic ... don't you think Chorus
It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought 'Well isn't this nice...' And isn't it ironic ... don't you think Repeat Chorus
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face
It's a traffic jam when you're already late It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic... don't you think A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think... Repeat Chorus
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out
sometimes [for example this Sunday] this is what happens when we try to occult the important stuff. a crocodile found in a French lake (!!!) is more important than the killings in Iran going on at the same time. at least for yahoo. this was the first peice of news that came up when i opened my account. But then again, such is life. people are selective. there is no ultimate, absolute, universal authority to decide WHAT is more important, is there? there are just little fragile human beings for whom crocodiles seem more threatening than a bullet sent straight to the innocent's heart. and sometimes, i guess they are. it's just a matter of knowing how to recognize the evil that lurks behind. to know which one to fear most. or just to stop hiding from the truth.
but the question remains: is there any hidden truth out there to uncover??? the truth may be a treasure that we keep on desperately searching for hoping that it would lead to happiness, but to me, right now, it seems like an unending spiral, leading to nowhere, going down, and further down, the more I try to uncover it...and find an even more 'hidden' truth underneath... i forgot where i started. is this normal!?
aching wishing trying hoping that there will be a time
when i will forget about forgetting myself and start truly forgetting my SELF
dreaming of a time when i will shed layer after layer of self-bruised ego of self-mutilated ego of self-absorbed and self-victimized selfishness
when i will not act impulsively no matter how pushed over the edge by my own mystifications when i will act without thinking for a moment about my pain my pleasure my goddamn self
without poses without contradictions happy to be who i am happy to be naked in front of the mirror
growing up is a mere illusion of ours. we like to believe in it like we like to believe in god. we like to kid ourselves (or better said: we like to kid the kid in us) into thinking we actually 'know' what we are doing, at all costs, at all possible times. we brace ourselves. we are keeping our head and limbs INSIDE the car at all times. we are respecting all those rules that are telling us we need to constantly keep our seat-belt fastened, and hold on to the sustenance bars, the metallic structures that prevent us from falling - by virtue of inertia- when the vehicle stops its motion all of a sudden (like in the metro or bus, or any other ride you may think of).
is this how we are 'supposed' to act? is this what others expect of us- the generalized other's gaze, constantly judging us, deeming us 'illegitimate adults' if we fail to produce the 'grown-up behaviour' that is acceptable to their eyes? i guess so. that is why we need to lie. most of all, we need to lie to ourselves, to damage ourselves, to mutilate ourselves to fit the 'grown up' pattern. the one that KNOWS what to do. when to do. and how to do. the omnipotent adult that never falters, never fails. the adult-as-god.
when i was younger (i cannot say 'when i was a child', because i still am), i used to look up at 'grown ups' (my mother, my father, my grandpa), and think they were never hurt. whenever i went to the doctors i used to think that when i would become 'like them' [when i will 'grow up'] the shot will not sting anymore. the teeth will not hurt. the body will not feel any pain. I used to think that pain was only a child’s predicament that would simply disappear, with age. something like a pimple or wound that cures with time. Was it simply because the grown-ups never showed their pain to me because i had to be [taught how to be] brave and not show signs of it or was it because they were trying to conserve the illusion of having actually... grown up?
i don't really know. but what i can say now, 20 years later, is that i was absolutely right back then. Pain IS the child’s predicament. But I was also wrong! because i thought i’d ever stop being one and that my ability to feel pain would fade away over the years.
i guess the only difference between me_now and me_then is that – although I STILL DON’T KNOW what the f*** i am doing – i can no longer be forgiven with a condescending pat on the shoulder by those who DO know. this time, i have to pay for my ‘innocence’. the child is oblivious to others' pain, but now at least i should know: others hurt too.
Crazy thing is, intuition never failed me. I always follow my patterns knowing exactly where they would lead. Knowing the disaster is there, at the end of the line. And this is something that never ceases to amaze me. The very moment of setting foot on my path is always new and exciting. It’s always an adventure, no matter how strongly i feel the end deep down in my guts. it's a fascination that i cannot resist. like the vertigo that draws you into the void. I do it relentlessly. I do it fearlessly and then i run away once i feel ashamed and guilty. Is it a change of mind? Is it proof of poor judgement? Or of no judgement at all? is it mere insanity? or, oh yes, stupidity. plain and simple stupidity. what can u ask from a 'limited' person?.. obviously nothing. you can just pity them. do not hold accountable the ignorant and the insane. forgive them, dear father, for they know not what they do.
No wonder they do not trust children until the age of 14 to make decisions in court! for example, whether they would choose to live with their mother or father in case there was an argument over custody. They are considered immature and unable to say who they’d rather be with. Of course, they have desires, they have emotions AND cognitions, they are perfectly aware of what they feel. But they cannot be trusted in their decision. The default assumption is that they will most likely make the wrong one. And then BAM! All of a sudden, when they turn 14, they are able to make decisions. not only able, but required. it's what adults *do*. And so they will be, for the rest of their lives. It’s an ability that blossoms in them. Once in full bloom, it can never be taken back. And the assumption is, it never fails to bloom.
My only question is: if everything blooms, then dies [by this not making the flowers less beautiful], if life is so beautiful and yet unfair... why can’t WE be beautiful too? Because one thing is for sure: we definitely are unfair.
The Communist party in Moldova announced that the election of the new president which was scheduled for today was postponed because....well....of the Christian celebration of Ascension Day (the day when Jesus went up to Heavens after ressurecting on Easter sunday...) [source -in RO]
hehehe!... it certainly fits with the ideology...isn't that right, Mr. Lenin!!??
citind egophobia (sectiunea de poezie)...am dat peste anunturile google la capatul paginii, foarte bine adaptate la subiect....si intre ele!!
Cum sa ne rugam ca sa ne raspunda Dumnezeu la dorinta de a ne intalni dragostea...? pai simplu, ne rugam facand click pe galeria de femei!!!! ca doar ce-i frumos...si lui Dumnezeu ii place. pai, nu?...
ioi, Doamne, ce ne mai objectifica barbatii astia si ne pun prin galerii....
Exactly one week ago, I witnessed the most touching book launch event of my life (okay, i haven't been to that many, but still --). I admit, it may have had to do with the fact that I do share a special connection with the author of this book and I do feel very close to her (both academically and personally), but it was also because she gave a very good and charismatic speech. She made the whole audience feel her emotion, she made us all part of her inner thrill, she shared with us her childhood dreams and aspirations and literally brought tears of joy to our eyes [well, at least to some of us..]
Her book, called "The First 20 Seconds", is the fruit of her PhD thesis (maybe one day...i will dare to do the same) and it presents the first social-psychological experiment ever conducted in Romania in the field of Non-Verbal Communication. I think it's a must for students of communication and the wider public alike!
so this post is just to say "Congratulations, Lori!" & thank you! :)
Alexandrina 's video - shot at her painting exhibition opening back in 2007 - in my favorite Bucharest book-shop/ culture-shop / music-shop/ art-shop but most importantly: tea-shop: Carturesti [recently migrated to NY]
